There's gonna be some happy moments.

Today.
It's gonna be a happy post.

I JUST WENT SHOPPING!
And it was like super successful hehehehe
Went to Jurong point with my mum.
Wow, that place is HUMONGOUS!

Advantage of shopping with mum:

She is totally kind and helps to pay for my stuff and help me carry!
(But of course i told her i'll carry the stuff!)
She provides food!
She's encourage me ;))))
She don't care about me when i shop too long LOL which is an advantage!
AND THERE'S A LOT MORE I SWEAR!

Well, disadvantage of shopping with mum:

She force me to go toilet ;(
She force me to drink water.. Which is kinda good but.. Ok FINE!
She goes into MORE MATURE CLOTHINGS shops ;x
(but i dont rush her, because she deserve new stuffs too ;)) )
And she gets tired easily!

Hahaha, like i swear i can just walk the entire mall myself in that few span of hours,
but just now when we wear walking and walking, she will say her legs are tired or she wants to get a drink LOL
and we will get off track and walk to somewhere else, leaving the portion of the mall unexplored.
But since it's so freaking near my school, IM GONNA GO THERE! NOBODY STOP ME!

Of course, nobody will stop me since... nobody really cares where im going la.. LOL
Emo girl is back!

Just kidding~

But seriously.

Was telling my mum today that i have no friends (was half serious and half joking LOL)
And then she was like, 'I have no friends too!'

But she adds on saying, 'I only go out with Daddy one mah, you got see me go out with friends one meh?'

UH HUH! GURL! U HAVE A HUSBAND! *SNAPS*

LOLOL~ And then she went on telling me to get a boyfriend and I'll just spent time only with him.

UH HUH! WOMAN! NOBODY JUST GETS A BOYFRIEND LIKE THAT! *SNAP SNAP*
(accept you're a hooker.. But those are not boyfriends.. so you cant get it.. but it's like the same.. but OH WHATEVER.)

Heehehheheheh JUST SAYING~

Okay. Tired liao bye~

Hmm...

Oh man...
Another emo emo post ;(

But i think this blog is up just for me to pour my emotions out.
So.. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? o.o

Just came to realize that...

I dont really have a lot of friends.
Close friends. I think.

Been having this problem since forever.
But it's something that I can live with I guess.

Just that since christmas just passed, i went on to facebook earlier and saw, well maybe im just sensitive and being a bitchy snob, but, everyone has albums of christmas party or hangouts.

Oh man...

I think if I were to be in Singapore during Christmas, I'll just stay home and sleep whole day.
Or maybe im just being sensitive.. Hmm...

Well, I think my NRA dance peeps will ask me out right..? ;)
Hmm...
Yeah. I think im thinking too much. Always like that one.

Okay~ Done~ Bye!

That feeling...

Do you ever have that feeling where you just feel depressed and upset even when nothings happening actually.

Im having that right now.
But why?
Why do I feel like this?

Is it because of the tweets on twitter?
Is it because of the comments on facebook?
Is it because Im thinking too much and afraid of doing so many things?

Damn.. I wish I knew.

I wish everything was just simple and everyone was thoughtful and kind.
But. NOPE.
That won't ever happen.

But im not upset to the point of crying or anything.
It's just THAT FEELING, like misplaced and uncomfortable.
And yet im lying on my bed with JAM beside me, watching me type.

Nothing bad's happening.

Or. Maybe its because of the end of the world thing that has been going around.
21st dec.

To say the truth, im afraid.
What will happen to the world?

Shall not think about that and live my life as it is.
Kinda like my new motto:

LIVE LIFE AS IT IS.

Uh huh~ Bye.

The 'D' word

I wish I could stop being afraid of everything.

Sometimes I think to myself, am I a dancer?

But when there’s something I remembered very clearly, and it’s what Alex had said. Even one of the choreographers who had participated in so many dance events does not dare to call him a dancer.

So how could a small tiny performer like me be called a dancer just because it’s been my CCA for 5 years?

And… what is my standard?

How good am I?

Am I worthy?

Those words that my senior said to me.

Those words really made a great impact to me.

Am I really… not that good?

I have to say that… People would always remember the negative stuff and neglect the good things.

That’s what happening to me right now.

This negative comment is stuck in my skull, trapped in the middle of all my brain nerves.

‘You’ll probably be like one of the back up dancers, just get a few items. Nothing really.’

Can’t write anymore. Speechless at myself.

What's this feeling.

It's been long since i've written a post.

Well, made some changes in my blog because the purpose of this blog has totally changed.

This blog use to be a tool to seek attention and talk about my daily life.

I mean... Who doesn't want to have more attention?

And im too lazy to blog about my daily life.. It isn’t that interesting anyway.

But now, this blog is going to be a place i write about my personal thoughts.

I don't think anybody will be reading anyways.. Probably some of my classmates that have bookmarked my blog.

Today was a cold day.

Christmas is coming.

I don't know why but as the day was coming to an end, i suddenly got depressed.

I don't know what hit me.

Maybe it's the rain. Maybe it’s the cup of wine that i drank.

You know the feeling where you are holding something inside and you really feel like screaming?

The feeling where your hands turn into fist and you tears start falling down from your eyes.

I’m experiencing it right now.

And I have no idea why.

Maybe it’s because of the assignments. Maybe it’s because of the lectures. Maybe… Maybe I’m just crazy.

I don’t like the way I am right now.

The person I’m suppose to be, that happy and cheerful girl.

I wonder if that’s the real me.

Even if that’s not the real me… I want it to be me.

Just be optimistic, cheerful, easy going…

Most of the time I’m able to do it.

But then again… My greatest fear will hit me at random moments.

For what my greatest fear is… I think I’ll write that next time.

Tears are streaming down my face again…

Haha, feels like I’m writing a story instead.

But I really want to just forget about everything and anything and just write how I really feel.

I don’t want to be having the mentality that someone will be reading and judging me and be afraid of every little thing I do.

Just this time.

Just on this blog.