Omg.

我是不是真的有问题啊？
是我太疲劳，还是我不记得呀。。。

事情是这样发生的：

昨天晚上，差不多半夜两点。
忙了一整天，在家，好累。
我充忙的洗脸刷牙。
回到房间，把我桌上的小镜子放正，把脸弄干净。
后来，我就直接上床睡觉了。

但，我睡了好几个小时后，突然醒了过来。
我一脚一移，提到了床上的一样东西。
那东西大声地落在地上。
我爬起来看。。。

是我桌上的镜子。

我吓了一会儿，但担心镜子列了，就伸手动了表面。
幸好镜子没列。

我赶紧把镜子放在桌上。

早上时，我问我家人，有没有人碰我的镜子；
但我全家都说没。
我告诉他们那晚发生了什么事；
但他们却告诉我，说我乱乱说话，一定是自己放的，但忘了。
我爸还说我一定是睡眠不足，头脑想歪了。

我想。。。也就应该是这样吧。

我是不是有问题啊？

好累哦。
但是还没做完好多事。

就这样。。。

这么这样啊。。

只想微笑着。
这么把自己落在一个那么悲伤的结果呀。。。

原知自己喜欢着一样事，这么搞的，把自己所爱的，绕了个圈，反变成了负担。
本以为这样做就会开心，但自己其实已知道没这简单。

蠢的是，自己既然火上加油，为难自己。
干嘛明知自己不能完全做到的事，还更加答应呀。

谁会知道我的苦恼。。。
老天爷，救救我好吗？

妈呀。。。

Losing.

So much tears.

The smile I had on today.
Which is real.
Which is fake.
In order to show the world Im strong.
Is it worth it?

Judgement from people.
Your weak if you crumble.
Your strong and you'll look happy.
Look. Look happy.

What do we have to do?
What if Im weak inside... But I want to look happy.
Its the least I can do now.
I don't want to crumble.

Library.
The memory of me will stay there forever.
Unable to erase.
As tears drip on the table.

Please remind me who I really am..

So much tears.
Where did they come from.

Came to realized..

When bad things happened.. Do I take the blame?
I always think to myself.

Ever since 2013 started.
So much misfortunes happened.
So much tears were shed.

I always think to myself.
Was I the one that cause all this?
Do I really need to change myself for the world?

People always say.
The world is yours. Dont let it control you.

But how am I suppose to control the billion gazillion people in the world?

So...
I always think to myself.
Am I the one that cause all this.

What If it's me?
Do I try to change?






Am i suppose to change myself into someone I hate in order for people to love me..?

Why does it sound so contradicting..?

What do we live for.

Ohmygod...

Doing something that I dont like and it clashes with something I like.

This has happened so many times.
Why do we have to do things that makes us depress?

It's difficult to pretend a smile when it's clear that tears are filling up the eyes.

Life gets hard without a warning.

Unable to make a space for something I love and want.

Yet we are held up by things that meant 'benefits'.

It gets difficult.

The sorrows that stays inside.

There's no point in writing.

There's no point when there's no improvement.

It just stays dead and flat on the piece of paper.

Sooner or later, it'll get burn.

And whats left, is the sorrows that are still trap deep within.

Life.

What's life when people get depress so easily.

What's life when we do things that we don't like to do.

Dammit.