Why do I feel this way suddenly?
It's like everything is in my way, like everything's against me.
There's so many things I want to know.
So many things that come against me.
What do I want.
How can I get it.
People say, if you have a dream, go for it.
But how to if there's no chance? No opportunities?
Then they'll say, find opportunities.
I tried...
Everything just come against me..
Im so scared.
Im not happy.
I don't like my life like this.
What phase is this?
I hate it.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
I think Im some kind of badluck.
So FP award night just ended and im back home, about to go to sleep.
So...
As like how 321 went.. Our film ended up the same.
It really made me think.
THINK SO DEEPLY.
What the fuck did we do wrong.
But oh well, it's over already.
But seriously, the MTV part really shocked me.
AND IM SO NOT OVER IT.
WHAT THE EFF OUR MUSIC VIDEO WAS NOT EVEN NOMINATED.
Seriously.. Something's going on..
But oh well~
I look pretty today ^^
So...
As like how 321 went.. Our film ended up the same.
It really made me think.
THINK SO DEEPLY.
What the fuck did we do wrong.
But oh well, it's over already.
But seriously, the MTV part really shocked me.
AND IM SO NOT OVER IT.
WHAT THE EFF OUR MUSIC VIDEO WAS NOT EVEN NOMINATED.
Seriously.. Something's going on..
But oh well~
I look pretty today ^^
That's me 2nd from the right!
After all the shyt i've went through and facing the same old ending, i kept thinking to myself..
Maybe this is just not what im meant to be.
To be behind the camera. To operate the machines. To direct people.
I don't know. I really don't know.
Even though i received that few compliments from my own team mates but.. that's all.
That's all. The end.
My teammates.
No one else acknowledges my effort or hardwork.
I don't know what my future may be but by the look of how me being in the media industry now, i don't think it's a good idea.
But I like attending award ceremonies like these~
It's a sign.
JUST KIDDING.
But seriously.
Im bored.
I look pretty here LOL
SOMEBODY TELL ME!
Dammit. Bye~
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
So I did a personality test...
So I did a personality test and it came out to this:
About your personality:
You tend to be traditional. Home, family, job and community are all central to you. You like being firmly embedded in your social and business groups and you feel deeply responsible for just about everyone around you. You can be fiercely protective of those you love.
You are skilled at managing people. You are sympathetic and cooperative; you are also hard working and display a good deal of caution and common sense. And you can be very patient. So you can complete detailed, painstaking jobs more easily than most people.
You enjoy building social relationships. You have excellent verbal and people skills. You are talented at achieving solutions to complex problems so that all involved feel fulfilled. You have a hard headed too. You tend to respect rules, schedules and routines.
You also see the big picture, have a fine imagination and can be remarkably intuitive. You like to play with ideas and examine the meaning of life. And because you have a genuine sense of community, you seek projects that enable you to contribute to a more stable world.
In love and Relationships:
You tend to be traditional. Home, family, job and community are all central to you. You like being firmly embedded in your social and business groups and you feel deeply responsible for just about everyone around you. You can be fiercely protective of those you love.
Relating to others:
You are somewhat stoical. You believe that difficulties are inevitable. With this practical attitude, coupled with your dependable, cooperative and "can-do" spirit, you often become a central and effective player in your social and business networks. You are generally calm and entertaining, too, and always dedicated and reliable. And with your imagination and people skills, just about everybody likes you.
Primary traits:
You are skilled at managing people. You are sympathetic and cooperative; you are also hard working and display a good deal of caution and common sense. And you can be very patient. So you can complete detailed, painstaking jobs more easily than most people.
You enjoy building social relationships. You have excellent verbal and people skills. You are talented at achieving solutions to complex problems so that all involved feel fulfilled. You have a hard headed too. You tend to respect rules, schedules and routines.
You also see the big picture, have a fine imagination and can be remarkably intuitive. You like to play with ideas and examine the meaning of life. And because you have a genuine sense of community, you seek projects that enable you to contribute to a more stable world.
About your personality:
You tend to be traditional. Home, family, job and community are all central to you. You like being firmly embedded in your social and business groups and you feel deeply responsible for just about everyone around you. You can be fiercely protective of those you love.
You are skilled at managing people. You are sympathetic and cooperative; you are also hard working and display a good deal of caution and common sense. And you can be very patient. So you can complete detailed, painstaking jobs more easily than most people.
You enjoy building social relationships. You have excellent verbal and people skills. You are talented at achieving solutions to complex problems so that all involved feel fulfilled. You have a hard headed too. You tend to respect rules, schedules and routines.
You also see the big picture, have a fine imagination and can be remarkably intuitive. You like to play with ideas and examine the meaning of life. And because you have a genuine sense of community, you seek projects that enable you to contribute to a more stable world.
In love and Relationships:
You tend to be traditional. Home, family, job and community are all central to you. You like being firmly embedded in your social and business groups and you feel deeply responsible for just about everyone around you. You can be fiercely protective of those you love.
Relating to others:
You are somewhat stoical. You believe that difficulties are inevitable. With this practical attitude, coupled with your dependable, cooperative and "can-do" spirit, you often become a central and effective player in your social and business networks. You are generally calm and entertaining, too, and always dedicated and reliable. And with your imagination and people skills, just about everybody likes you.
Primary traits:
- Traditional
- Social
- Loyal
- Dependable
- Patient
- Community oriented
- Orderly
- Sees the big picture
- Imaginative
- Intuitive
- Verbal skills
- Empathetic
- Trusting
- Introspective
You are skilled at managing people. You are sympathetic and cooperative; you are also hard working and display a good deal of caution and common sense. And you can be very patient. So you can complete detailed, painstaking jobs more easily than most people.
You enjoy building social relationships. You have excellent verbal and people skills. You are talented at achieving solutions to complex problems so that all involved feel fulfilled. You have a hard headed too. You tend to respect rules, schedules and routines.
You also see the big picture, have a fine imagination and can be remarkably intuitive. You like to play with ideas and examine the meaning of life. And because you have a genuine sense of community, you seek projects that enable you to contribute to a more stable world.
Cool. Cool. Quite interesting.
Say the truth, some parts are kind real... But, "You are skilled at managing people" and "You have excellent verbal and people skills." O.O REALLY MEH!
Hahahhaha~
Friday, February 8, 2013
苦恼呀苦恼
哈哈哈！
我发觉我每次都吵着累！
（老爸刚进来说我的华语不对～ 但是我不管了呀！）
今天跳舞了！
虽然很累，但是满好玩的啦～
但是哦，太性感了啦！
整个舞都是Street Jazz！
我要快点到Hip Hop的部份！！！
哈哈哈～
咳～～～～～～～～～～
但是现在有两个烦恼的事。
第一是跳舞的camp。。。
不知道为什么选我。
也不知道为什么我总有个感觉是应为没人要去所以就选上了我。
咳。。。
如果我没理由拒绝；一定会有闲言闲语。
那我过后的两年就不用活了啦。
苦恼呀苦恼。。。
第二是做工。。。
我真的很不想去做。
我知道我不能永远有个依靠；永远有个人陪我一起做事。。。
但是我自己知道问题在那里。
虽然过了一年了。。。但是我还始终放不下那悲伤的感觉。。。
每次知道会自己一个人面对陌生的环境，就会感到很怕。
而会应为那件事，无法入眠。
我真的很怕。
但是能依靠的人也开始烦了。。。
这么办。
我好怕。。。
就这样了吧。
晚安。
我发觉我每次都吵着累！
（老爸刚进来说我的华语不对～ 但是我不管了呀！）
今天跳舞了！
虽然很累，但是满好玩的啦～
但是哦，太性感了啦！
整个舞都是Street Jazz！
我要快点到Hip Hop的部份！！！
哈哈哈～
咳～～～～～～～～～～
但是现在有两个烦恼的事。
第一是跳舞的camp。。。
不知道为什么选我。
也不知道为什么我总有个感觉是应为没人要去所以就选上了我。
咳。。。
如果我没理由拒绝；一定会有闲言闲语。
那我过后的两年就不用活了啦。
苦恼呀苦恼。。。
第二是做工。。。
我真的很不想去做。
我知道我不能永远有个依靠；永远有个人陪我一起做事。。。
但是我自己知道问题在那里。
虽然过了一年了。。。但是我还始终放不下那悲伤的感觉。。。
每次知道会自己一个人面对陌生的环境，就会感到很怕。
而会应为那件事，无法入眠。
我真的很怕。
但是能依靠的人也开始烦了。。。
这么办。
我好怕。。。
就这样了吧。
晚安。
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
嗨呀！
这么办！
新年要到了。。。。
但是，信念还没到；食物都到了呀！
我家已经有肉干，黄梨饼，还有好多好多零食。
肥死我了呀！！！
而且，现在也没有跳舞了。。
没有什么运动。
一定会肥起来！！！
这么办。。。
我还想减肥；但是现在是新年期间，那你可能不吃！
还有，我不要喝Starbucks了！
我算了算；如果每天买一杯，10天后，就$60了呀！
而且，太多的咖啡也对我不好。
但是我需要有一种平常和方便的水！
我需要一个；
容易买到。
方便带来带去。
好喝。
便宜。
不肥；
的水！
我想过买Mcdonald的Ice Lemon Tea；
但是我家周围没有Mcdonald！
帮我想想看啊！
咳。。。。
我好麻烦哦～
就这样。
肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥！
好肥哦！！！
新年要到了。。。。
但是，信念还没到；食物都到了呀！
我家已经有肉干，黄梨饼，还有好多好多零食。
肥死我了呀！！！
而且，现在也没有跳舞了。。
没有什么运动。
一定会肥起来！！！
这么办。。。
我还想减肥；但是现在是新年期间，那你可能不吃！
还有，我不要喝Starbucks了！
我算了算；如果每天买一杯，10天后，就$60了呀！
而且，太多的咖啡也对我不好。
但是我需要有一种平常和方便的水！
我需要一个；
容易买到。
方便带来带去。
好喝。
便宜。
不肥；
的水！
我想过买Mcdonald的Ice Lemon Tea；
但是我家周围没有Mcdonald！
帮我想想看啊！
咳。。。。
我好麻烦哦～
就这样。
肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥肥！
好肥哦！！！
有时会想。。
又读了个真实的故事。
不是自己要想，但有时就会突然想起。
今天，去了图书馆。
跟我班的朋友聊天；她应该有读我的博客吧！
当我们坐地铁回家时，她跟我说了一句：
你为什么没有男朋友呀？
哈哈哈；不是我想夸自己！
但是有时真的会去想想的呀。
我回了她：
这种事还轮不到我选啊～
说实话；不是我不要有个伴。
是没人追啊～
说多一次！
不是我想夸自己；但是此时有满多个人惊讶我没有男朋友。
不知道是不是，但是有些人更惊讶的是，我从来没谈恋爱过～
说多一次；我从没有个男朋友～
哈哈哈！
不是我想夸自己哦！！
嗨呀，这是我的博客；让我夸夸自己没关系吧！
但说实话；我的条件是不是很差？
看了那么多戏剧；读了那么多小说。
我对我自己想，这些故事；会不会发生在我身上？
还是，我已经失去了信仰。
跟了我好朋友这么久；见过的人也不少。
心理，地确有一点想放弃了。
这么多人；这么没有一个是完美的呀？
每当我以为一个人不错，他就会做些烦人的事。
嗨呀。
完美男人；你还存在吗？
涮了吧；我看着一种爱情故事是不会发生在我身上的啦～
不是自己要想，但有时就会突然想起。
今天，去了图书馆。
跟我班的朋友聊天；她应该有读我的博客吧！
当我们坐地铁回家时，她跟我说了一句：
你为什么没有男朋友呀？
哈哈哈；不是我想夸自己！
但是有时真的会去想想的呀。
我回了她：
这种事还轮不到我选啊～
说实话；不是我不要有个伴。
是没人追啊～
说多一次！
不是我想夸自己；但是此时有满多个人惊讶我没有男朋友。
不知道是不是，但是有些人更惊讶的是，我从来没谈恋爱过～
说多一次；我从没有个男朋友～
哈哈哈！
不是我想夸自己哦！！
嗨呀，这是我的博客；让我夸夸自己没关系吧！
但说实话；我的条件是不是很差？
看了那么多戏剧；读了那么多小说。
我对我自己想，这些故事；会不会发生在我身上？
还是，我已经失去了信仰。
跟了我好朋友这么久；见过的人也不少。
心理，地确有一点想放弃了。
这么多人；这么没有一个是完美的呀？
每当我以为一个人不错，他就会做些烦人的事。
嗨呀。
完美男人；你还存在吗？
涮了吧；我看着一种爱情故事是不会发生在我身上的啦～
晚安！
（Selene，如果你再读，睡前故事完了；去睡吧！）
Monday, February 4, 2013
"Goodbye Stranger"
Sunday Midnight.
The wind from the Big Ass Fan was blowing so strongly;
Only 8 passengers where on the platform, including me.
I stopped near the escalator and faced the front of the station's direction.
As I hum along the tune of Somewhere Over the Rainbow;
A guy wearing formal and have his blazer over his shoulder, came walking pass me and stopped just about 3 metres infront.
He faced the opposite platform as he stopped.
I look at him curiosly;
The platform is so wide, why did he stop infront of me?
I looked away at the opposite platform and turned back naturally;
However, I was surprise to see the guy looking at me.
Being the shy girl with strangers, I looked away quickly; pretending I didn't see anything.
However, I could feel his constant stare from the edge of my eye.
Everytime when I turn to his direction;
He will turn from wherever he was facing, and look at me.
And then the Last Train approached the stop.
I entered from the separately door so he wouldn't think I have any interest in him or whatsoever.
But, he would still look over once in a while.
Until I was reaching my stop.
I arranged my things and hang them around me to make things easier.
I could see him turning over as I moved about.
And when I reached my stop;
I stood up.
Walked over him.
And alighted.
"Goodbye Stranger"
I thought to myself.
The wind from the Big Ass Fan was blowing so strongly;
Only 8 passengers where on the platform, including me.
I stopped near the escalator and faced the front of the station's direction.
As I hum along the tune of Somewhere Over the Rainbow;
A guy wearing formal and have his blazer over his shoulder, came walking pass me and stopped just about 3 metres infront.
He faced the opposite platform as he stopped.
I look at him curiosly;
The platform is so wide, why did he stop infront of me?
I looked away at the opposite platform and turned back naturally;
However, I was surprise to see the guy looking at me.
Being the shy girl with strangers, I looked away quickly; pretending I didn't see anything.
However, I could feel his constant stare from the edge of my eye.
Everytime when I turn to his direction;
He will turn from wherever he was facing, and look at me.
And then the Last Train approached the stop.
I entered from the separately door so he wouldn't think I have any interest in him or whatsoever.
But, he would still look over once in a while.
Until I was reaching my stop.
I arranged my things and hang them around me to make things easier.
I could see him turning over as I moved about.
And when I reached my stop;
I stood up.
Walked over him.
And alighted.
"Goodbye Stranger"
I thought to myself.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
有开心的时候 :)
刚到家！
今天真的太累了。。
但是还想在这写些刚想～
一大清早就去学校上跳舞课；
可笑的是；我既然在地铁上睡着了，没下站！
但是我来得早，虽然坐过头，还是没迟到！(^^)
后来，跳完舞，累得要命；还要赶着去换拍摄的道具。
从学校去到 Clark Quey，又从 Clark Quey 去 Bukit Gombak。
妈呀！
天气有这么猛！
吃完我的汉堡包；又想睡觉！(z_z)
幸好我们的演员好；让我们的拍摄很顺利！
虽然是迟了一点。。。
希望这一些是值得的！
说实话；我真的会想念这些好时光。
虽然我的确又说过我为了他们很难过；
但还是有开心的时候呀～
第二天的拍摄。
我不知道我到底做得好不好。。
但是，还没听到什么意见；
只觉得拍的有点慢，所以延迟了大家差不多15分钟。
等一下的拍摄一定会更好！
但我需要先睡个好觉。。。
就这样！
晚安 (o^^o)
今天真的太累了。。
但是还想在这写些刚想～
一大清早就去学校上跳舞课；
可笑的是；我既然在地铁上睡着了，没下站！
但是我来得早，虽然坐过头，还是没迟到！(^^)
后来，跳完舞，累得要命；还要赶着去换拍摄的道具。
从学校去到 Clark Quey，又从 Clark Quey 去 Bukit Gombak。
妈呀！
天气有这么猛！
吃完我的汉堡包；又想睡觉！(z_z)
幸好我们的演员好；让我们的拍摄很顺利！
虽然是迟了一点。。。
希望这一些是值得的！
说实话；我真的会想念这些好时光。
虽然我的确又说过我为了他们很难过；
但还是有开心的时候呀～
第二天的拍摄。
我不知道我到底做得好不好。。
但是，还没听到什么意见；
只觉得拍的有点慢，所以延迟了大家差不多15分钟。
等一下的拍摄一定会更好！
但我需要先睡个好觉。。。
就这样！
晚安 (o^^o)
Saturday, February 2, 2013
好累哦～
我看我真的要把我的博客翻成华文了呀～
用华文，很像比较容易表示我的感想。
今天好累哦。。。
第一天的拍摄，我当了导演；
是有点恐怖呀～
虽然大家是听我的，但是，有什么事发生，全也是我来抗，我来做决定。
而且，万一有什么奇怪的拍摄的角度。。
那一定是我的错呀！
但是我今天真的太累了，不过还想在博客上说出我无法说的心里话。
还有，不知道我刚刚的表现如何。
我问了；但有些说不错，又有一个说不好。
但是那个人总是坡人冷水。
真烦呀！
他厉害，他来做啊！
我的组队友，全部都一下好，一下又不好。
不知道他们到底要真样。。。
每次都情切的跟他们讨论，但他们总是会用很伤人的话。
我真的很希望我们会做得好。
如果本身幸运的话。。。有可能，就有可能。
如果结果还是跟平常一样，我看我在这一行没将来了啦。
就不多说了。
累了。。。
用华文，很像比较容易表示我的感想。
今天好累哦。。。
第一天的拍摄，我当了导演；
是有点恐怖呀～
虽然大家是听我的，但是，有什么事发生，全也是我来抗，我来做决定。
而且，万一有什么奇怪的拍摄的角度。。
那一定是我的错呀！
但是我今天真的太累了，不过还想在博客上说出我无法说的心里话。
还有，不知道我刚刚的表现如何。
我问了；但有些说不错，又有一个说不好。
但是那个人总是坡人冷水。
真烦呀！
他厉害，他来做啊！
我的组队友，全部都一下好，一下又不好。
不知道他们到底要真样。。。
每次都情切的跟他们讨论，但他们总是会用很伤人的话。
我真的很希望我们会做得好。
如果本身幸运的话。。。有可能，就有可能。
如果结果还是跟平常一样，我看我在这一行没将来了啦。
就不多说了。
累了。。。
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